Kelly's Hope: A Woman's Life, Legacy, and Victory in Christ

                                Kelly at age 50 on a mission trip to Ethiopia for Compassion Ministries

A FRIEND, ROLE MODEL, AND HERO 

Two and a half years ago, I was going through a terrifying experience with my health.  I discovered that I had chronic Lyme disease, and I started taking antibiotics which only worsened my condition. My doctor recommended I seek help through either a "Lyme literate" doctor or an alternative health care practitioner that specializes in treating Lyme disease.  I was unable to get in to see anyone right away because there was a high demand for these practitioners in my region.  There was a one-year waiting list to get into the alternative practitioner my doctor recommended, and I felt like my situation was hopeless.  Shortly after that, the mom of one of my previous Awana students called me and shared that she had cancer but was feeling great because of the alternative therapies she was doing.  She came over the next day to see if I needed any help and gave me some supplements to try.  A few weeks later, she called me to tell me that she had scheduled an initial appointment with the alternative healthcare provider I was on a waiting list to see.  She prayed about it and felt that God was leading her to give me her appointment.  The following week, I was evaluated by the practitioner, and I was eventually able to receive the treatments I needed.  I was absolutely stunned that God made a way when the situation seemed impossible to me.  Not only did this incredible woman sacrifice her well-being and her appointment to help me, she offered her friendship, mentorship, and support.

I was very appreciative to have a friend who was willing to walk through this journey together with compassion and understanding.  My friend called me regularly to find out how I was doing.  She offered her support and shared her own struggles.  We both shared prayer requests and were committed to pray for each other.   I always looked forward to her phone calls.  They lifted up my spirits and gave me hope.  She taught me about taking care of my body, researching/using discernment with choosing alternative healthcare, and trusting God in all things.   Her example encouraged me to be brave, to lean on Christ's strength, to live more fully for God's glory, and to reach out to others in need.  She inspired me to start blogging again and to use my experiences as a testimony for others.  As her condition began to decline about a year and a half ago, I observed how she clung to God's word and trusted in His hope.  Her faith in God became stronger as she approached the last months and days of her life.  I was in awe of her strength-- strength that wasn't her own but came from God.  Her example taught me about living with hope and about God's love that surpasses life and death.

Recently, my 14-year-old daughter wrote a school essay about her hero.  She wrote about the woman she believed had saved her mom's life.  That woman was Kelly Peterson, a dear friend and sister in Christ who battled cancer victoriously and was fully healed the moment she entered eternity on October 9, 2013.  

THE LIFE AND LEGACY OF A WOMAN OF FAITH  

"It is the Lord who goes before you.  He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you.  Do not fear or be dismayed."  Deuteronomy 31:8  (Kelly's life verse)

Humble, selfless, compassionate, hospitable, bold, and full of life are a few of the many characteristics that Kelly Peterson exuded as she embraced living with confidence and joy.  Kelly was very committed to her husband, Jim, and her family.  She was extremely involved in the lives of her three children, Cori, Trevor, and Caleb.  Kelly dedicated her life to help those in need.   She opened her home to accommodate traveling missionaries, homeless teens, sick family members, and she sheltered Somalian refuges. The Peterson family enjoyed using their back yard and swimming pool for social gatherings and church baptisms.  Kelly had a servant's heart and always put others before herself.   Kelly was passionate about helping teenagers, and worked with troubled youth at the Stillwater, MN, school district.  She was actively involved in pro-life ministries and openly ministered to the needs of pregnant girls. Kelly also mentored children and teens through Youth Group, Vacation Bible School, Children's Church, and she started a local Bible Quizzing group for teens.   Teenagers looked up to her as she modeled authenticity and an unwavering faith in Christ.  Kelly loved music and singing for the church worship team.  She also enthusiastically led worship at Children's Church.  A few years ago, Kelly relished the opportunity to share Christ's love with children during a mission trip to Ethiopia for Compassion Ministries.

Kelly's daughter, Cori, described her mom as being spunky, outgoing, bold, and full of faith.  Cori recalled, "She had a 'don't take no crap' personality!"   At age 50, Kelly fulfilled two goals on her bucket list when she went skydiving and took a mission trip to Africa.  Last summer, she also fulfilled her dream of having grandchildren as she held her precious granddaughter, Ellie, for the first time.  Throughout her life, Kelly demonstrated courage and bravery by her hope in God's promises.  Kelly's memory and legacy will be cherished by her family, friends, and all those who loved her.

                          Kelly with her daughter, Cori, on her first trip to California for cancer treatments

KELLY'S CANCER STORY

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."  2 Corinthians 12:9

Kelly discovered that she had breast cancer in July of 2010.  After her diagnosis, Kelly and her husband, Jim, carefully researched their options and decided to decline conventional cancer treatments.   Instead, she chose to utilize holistic therapies to treat her cancer.  She made this informed decision despite the overwhelming fear, scorn, and opposition from doctors and other people in her life.  Kelly's husband, children, and her sister, Lori, were 100% supportive of her choice to use holistic cancer treatments.  Kelly spent hours researching the latest information about cancer and related health care strategies, using resources from books and the internet.  She was diligent about eating healthy, using quality supplements, experimenting with recommended holistic therapies, and doing her best to take care of her body.  For two years, she was on a healthy path.  Kelly looked and felt better than she had in years.

Kelly maintained a positive and victorious attitude regarding her cancer journey.  She researched the potential effects of emotional trauma on the progression of cancer and strived to keep her stress level at a minimum; however, in the spring of 2012, multiple unforeseen stresses compounded her life.  That summer, Kelly began to notice a change in her condition.  Although she worked hard to get back on track with her diet and holistic therapies, the cancer was becoming very aggressive and she began to experience weakness, nausea, and physical pain.  Kelly also suffered from severe lymphedema in her left arm and struggled with an immobilized left shoulder.  That fall, Kelly and Jim decided it was time to seek other options, and she researched various integrative cancer clinics that offered alternative therapies.   Kelly then contacted a reputable Christian cancer center called Oasis of Hope, located in Irvine, California.  Oasis of Hope offered a combination of the latest conventional and alternative cancer treatments, showing tremendous results for stage 4 cancer patients.

That November, Kelly, and her daughter, Cori, traveled to California for alternative cancer therapies.  After two weeks of treatments, she experienced relief from her symptoms and was very satisfied with the results; however, several weeks later the pain returned as the cancer had metastasized to her bones.  At that point, the pain had become intense and unbearable.  Kelly's daughter, Cori, remembered watching her mom suffer from attacks of intense pain for hours at a time with no relief. This was one of the hardest emotional experiences Cori had to face.  "My strong mother was so sick, weak, and in so much pain.  It is so hard having to watch someone in that much physical pain for so long, knowing there was nothing I could do to make it go away besides praying that God would heal her.  Where did my lively and outgoing mother go?"

 In the winter of 2013, Kelly returned to Oasis of Hope for seven weeks of low dose chemotherapy and other integrative alternative therapies.  This time, her sister, Lori, accompanied her.  Kelly was in a tremendous amount of pain and weakness, which made the flight out there extremely difficult.  Shortly after her arrival, Kelly went into shock and needed to be admitted into the hospital for a blood transfusion.  Pain and weakness completely consumed her body, yet Kelly never gave up hope, and a few weeks later, her condition improved.  During her stay at at Oasis of Hope, Kelly spent her time focusing on her wellness and ministering to the needs of others.

                                       Kelly bravely received cancer therapies at Oasis of Hope 

THE LOVING ARMS OF A SAVIOR

"For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."  Romans 8:38-39

  While, Kelly and Lori were in California, they experienced some incredible spiritual encounters.  Kelly had a deep spiritual connection with the staff and other patients at Oasis of Hope. She was amazed that God had filled her heart with an immense compassion for a woman in particular who was suffering from chronic debilitating pain.  Kelly believed it was God's sovereignty that she endured such intense suffering so that she could minister to this woman's needs.  Afterwards, she tearfully shared with her family, "I would NEVER have had that kind of genuine compassion for someone had I not traveled the same PAINFUL road!"  Kelly truly believed that God used her most painful and weakest points to fill her heart with compassion for others so she could share with them the ultimate joy and peace that comes from clinging to Jesus Christ.

When Kelly started getting her strength back, she wanted to attend church in California.  Kelly and Lori began attending a Vineyard church near where they were staying. One Sunday, they both decided to go up for prayer.  Lori recalled that while they were standing to receive prayer, Kelly was looking behind herself and touching her right shoulder. Then, she let go of Lori and moved away from her.  She later told Lori that she felt someone touching her back, but when she looked to see who it was, no one was there.  Then, she felt someone pushing her away from Lori.  They both believed that that an angel was there holding onto Kelly and pushed her away because the angel wanted the sisters to be prayed for separately.

A couple weeks later, Kelly and Lori decided to attend a church that was recommended by one of the nurses at the cancer center.  At a church service, they had a truly unforgettable encounter.  While they were worshiping and singing the song "Forever Reign" Kelly was feeling tired and decided to sit down.  As they were singing, "Oh I'm running to your arms, running to your arms... Nothing compares to your embrace...", Lori saw Jesus coming beside Kelly on her right side.  Lori remembered that Jesus had on a white robe with wide sleeves and wore a white crown that appeared to be made of two different types of material twisted together, like a crown of thorns. Then, Lori starting rubbing Kelly's back thinking Kelly would probably tell her to stop because it wasn't something Lori would normally do.

Lori recalled, "When I saw Him, I was overcome and tears were flowing, but I wasn't making a sound.  I could feel my heart racing, and it was like time stood still while I tried to continue singing the song.  I wondered why He didn't come and sit between us.  Why did He only sit on her right side?  I didn't think about it for very long, though.  Jesus had his arm around her shoulders and was holding on to her left arm, the one with lymphodema.  As the song played, I was thinking about Kelly's arm and Jesus's arm.  The song was about her running to His arms, and He was there to help her with her 'stupid arm' as she liked to call it."

Afterwards, Lori was stunned about the entire incident.  She thought for sure if she shared it with anyone they would think she was either lying or crazy.  She didn't tell Kelly what happened for a few days.  When Lori finally did tell her sister the story, Kelly was awestruck and asked several questions about Jesus and what happened.  They both cried together and then Kelly said, "Why didn't you tell me when it was happening?"  When Lori explained her fear that Kelly wouldn't believe her, Kelly told her "I would have been like, Lou (Kelly's nickname for Lori), Jesus is right next to you right now!!"  Kelly couldn't wait to call her family and share this amazing story.  Kelly strongly believed that Jesus showed himself for Lori's sake to let her know that Jesus was holding on to Kelly and to reassure her that He had her sister. This experience made it easier for Lori to let go when it was time for Kelly to enter into eternity.

Kelly was such a selfless person and used these inspiring experiences to point others to Christ.  She called me a few weeks later to share her miraculous story.  I remember her telling me that Lori was a very practical person and it wasn't like her to come up with stories like that.  Then, she said, "Darcee, when your body is weak and you feel like you are barely hanging on, just close your eyes and picture Jesus holding onto you.  Always remember He has you."  

THE ULTIMATE VICTORY

"My heart and flesh may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and portion forever."  Psalm 73:26

Kelly experienced huge improvements at the end of her stay at Oasis of Hope.  She looked and felt healthier and stronger.  Her hemoglobin was much higher, and she was gaining back some of the unhealthy weight she had lost.  Kelly's pain, inflammation, lymphedema, and immobilized shoulder were greatly improved.  After Kelly returned home from her trip to California, the next two scans showed that the cancer had significantly decreased and was almost completely out of her bones.  Kelly and her family were praising God for these improvements and for the outpouring of love from family and friends.   Shortly after returning from California, friends and family put together a benefit to raise funds for Kelly's medical expenses.  She was very touched by their compassion and support.

That summer, Kelly tried some other alternative therapies using a Soq1 bed that had Far infrared therapy.  She also went on a Gerson diet of juicing and continued to do the coffee enemas recommended by one of the practitioners at Oasis of Hope.  As she eliminated cancer cells, Kelly noticed more improvements, and her next scan showed that the tumors had reduced even more.  Kelly purchased her own bed and was doing the therapy at home. In August, Kelly began to have a change of condition and experienced shortness of breath secondary to fluid build-up in her lungs.  Kelly visited the Emergency Room on a few occasions to remove the fluid.  Unfortunately, the cancer had become more aggressive and scans showed that the cancer had spread to her lungs and metastasized to the rest of her body.  In early October, Kelly and Lori were one day away from returning to California for some new integrative treatments specific to her blood and cancer type; however, she was admitted to Regions hospital in St. Paul.

In the hospital, Kelly fought hard to live until her last breath.  She never gave up and never lost faith in God.  My husband and I visited Regions to pray with Kelly and her family the night before her passing. When we were there, we could feel the intense presence of God in the room and our hearts were filled with compassion for Kelly and her family as they bravely faced the end with hope that God would provide a miracle.  I remembered Kelly once telling me that there was no reason to be afraid of death.  She said that she would fight to live for her family because they needed her; however, she knew that if it was God's will for her life to end, He would provide a way to take care of them.  She did not fear dying because she believed that Christ had conquered death.  Christ was Kelly's ultimate victory.  Even though we have struggled understanding why God chose to take Kelly home to her heavenly dwelling, we have found comfort in knowing she has been completely healed in the presence of God's glory.

                                           Kelly was very devoted to her husband and children

INSPIRING HOPE FOR GENERATIONS TO COME

"Now to him who was able to do far more abundantly than all we ask or think, according to the power at work within us."  Ephesians 3:20

Throughout Kelly's cancer journey, she always sought God's will in her life.  He revealed to her many issues that He wanted her to bring to Him so He could heal and restore her.  She brought all the past pains and struggles before Christ so that by His power He could heal emotions, experiences, relationships, mindsets, and false beliefs.  Shortly before her passing, Kelly had the opportunity to mend some broken relationships as she reconnected with her birth mom and siblings, many whom she had not spoken to in over 40 years.  She believed that Jesus Christ was the only one who had the power and authority to heal and mend relationships.

Kelly never indulged herself in self-pity or took on a "victim" mindset, even when the cancer was becoming aggressive.  She was proactive and strong in her faith.  As the disease intensified Kelly's pain and weakness, God intensified her faith.  Kelly became more intentional about pursuing God through her daily struggles by filling her mind and heart with the truth of His word and with worship music.  Her motto was, "I'm healed in Jesus's name, it is already done... I'm just waiting for the facts!"  Kelly's steadfast faith was a testimony to those who walked the last leg of the journey with her.

At Kelly's funeral, numerous people stood up to express how she impacted their lives.  Kelly shared the gospel with many people and lived out the gospel all the days of her life.  Her life demonstrated the true nature of a woman after God's heart.  She has inspired other generations to find hope and faith in Christ alone.  Nothing was wasted--not her pain, her suffering, or her experiences with holistic health.  All these things were used for God's glory to teach others His love and mercy.  Kelly wanted to help people to be proactive with taking care of their bodies and to trust God no matter what.  Her testimony of faith has led many to the hope of the living God.  Kelly's legacy will continue to live on in the hearts and memories of the lives she touched.

RESOURCES

For more information about Oasis of Hope Cancer Center, you can visit their website:
http://www.oasisofhope.com/?gclid=CPatieOvw74CFXQ1MgodaQwAdA

To read more about Kelly's courageous battle with cancer, you can read her Healing Benefit page:
https://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/kelly-s-healing-benefit/39293 

A Healthier More Beautiful You

"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him."  1 Corinthians 2:9

HEALTH AND BEAUTY IN OUR WORLD

We are constantly exposed to the world's definition of health and beauty through television, social media, magazines, and advertisements.   We observe images of flawless skin and the perfect body that tell us we need to appear younger, sexier, and physically fit.  Testimonies of diets, fitness programs, and plastic surgery entice our desire to be who the world defines us.  "Before and After" pictures show us that we can look better and be better if only we only try the right product or program.

As a young adult, my perception of health and beauty was focused on the world's standards.  After graduating from college and starting a family, I began to struggle with my weight.  Over a period of 10-12 years, I fluctuated between diet programs and unhealthy eating habits.   I had the desire to look and feel better, yet I was never fully committed to making a change.  Ironically, I finally started to shed the unwanted pounds during a period in my life when losing weight was the last thing on my mind.  As I battled with chronic vertigo, migraine headaches, pain, fatigue, and numerous food and chemical sensitivities I would have gladly maintained my weight if I could only feel normal again.  Unfortunately, this was not to be God's plan for my health journey.   As I bravely faced my "new normal" and painfully sensed God's purpose in these struggles, I unveiled health and beauty from an eternal perspective.

MY "BEFORE AND AFTER"

My perspective changed four years ago when I felt desperate to try anything to improve my health.  At that time, it seemed conventional medicine was only making my situation worse.  This perception motivated me to change my eating habits, wean myself off prescription medications, and eventually switch to alternative healthcare.  When I decided to try eating whole foods, I first eliminated all gluten, dairy, synthetic sugars, and caffeine.  Then, I met with a nutritionist who placed me on an elimination diet for migraine headaches. I experimented with altering my diet for a couple of years before feeling satisfied with the results.  I discovered that many food products that claimed to be "healthy" and were sold in whole food stores had preservatives and chemicals that were contributing to my headaches.  As I educated myself about foods that negatively impacted my health, I decided to eliminate all processed foods and anything that converted into sugar, including fruit and grains.  I have included a diet rich in legumes, a form of soluble fiber that enhances the body's natural ability to detoxify. I have also enjoyed eating fresh/steamed vegetables and juicing.  When I drink a glass of freshly made vegetable juice first thing in the morning, I can feel my body absorbing the nutrients and it feels so good.   It has been four years since I have had a cup of coffee, a can of soda, dessert, pizza, fast food, and other foods/beverages I once craved and ate/drank in excess, and I have not missed any of them.  Once you get sugar, caffeine, and junk food out of your system, you just don't crave it anymore.  Then, you are able to really "taste" and appreciate healthy foods.

As I continued with my new eating habits and introduced more holistic therapies, I noticed a physical transformation.  Over a period of two to three years, I lost more than 110 pounds.  Most of my weight loss was gradual; however, I did have a rapid weight loss a couple of years ago when my doctor was treating me with antibiotics for chronic Lyme disease.  I lost approximately 30 pounds in 4-6 weeks.   I can't say that my eating habits have "cured" my health; however, I have experienced many benefits.  The bags under my eyes disappeared within 3 months of changing my diet.  My skin now appears healthier and has better coloring.  For years I had a constant cough, nasal congestion, and asthma symptoms.   I no longer struggle with these symptoms and am off all of my asthma medications.  Most of my life, I have battled daily metabolic highs and lows that seemed to revolve around my eating habits and my sugar/caffeine intake.  I no longer experience sugar crashes accompanied by drowsiness and unclear thinking.  My blood sugar and metabolism are the most stable they have ever been. I now experience the freedom of overcoming my addiction to sugar, chocolate, and caffeine.  I have no regrets with my decision to change my diet or lifestyle.
 

"Before"- 2010

"After"- 2014

A LIFESTYLE TRANSFORMATION

Although I am grateful for my weight loss, this journey has had nothing to do with the size of my body.  It is about being healthier and living holistically as well as overcoming my chronic health issues.  In this process, I have come to the conclusion that healthy living is not about going on a diet, but it is a complete transformation of your lifestyle.  A lifestyle change is a commitment to do the right thing for yourself, your body, your family, and for God.  This journey is very personal and will be very different for each individual who embraces it.  What works for me is not necessarily going to be for someone else.

When my health declined and I thought I was at the end of my rope, I knew I couldn't do it on my own anymore.  That was when God stepped in and the transformation began.  This transformation affected all parts of my life including my eating habits, how I looked at my body, and how I spent my time.  I suddenly saw my life in an  entirely new light and my priorities began to change.  When I integrated holistic healthcare and whole eating habits into my life, I experienced a spiritual journey in which I could trust God to guide me.  I sometimes made spontaneous decisions to try new things, and I discovered that it wasn't always benefiting my healing process.  As I took time to pray before moving forward with new health strategies, God would lead me to make a change when the time was right.  I have learned patience through this painfully slow process, and God has used these situations to sanctify me and help me to grow as a person.

GOING AGAINST THE GRAIN

In my lifestyle transformation, I have found that God uses relationships with others to sanctify and build character.  When you make changes in your life that deviate from the norm and "go against the grain", you can expect some "advice" and criticism from others.   When I first changed my diet, some of my family and friends initiated lighthearted teasing about my eating habits, but they soon realized I was very serious about it.  At times, I have also experienced some criticism from individuals with good intentions.  A few people who did not fully understand my situation assumed that I decided to go on a weight loss program and expressed concern that my health problems were a result of my "dieting."  One individual indicated that I was taking my diet too far and suggested that I was deceived in believing that my alternative therapies would help me anymore than anything else I had tried.    Because I am a sensitive person and a "people pleaser", I have been emotionally hurt by the perceived misconception and judgment of others; however, I believe that God used these situations to build my character and help me to solidify my beliefs.  Ultimately, my priority is to do what is right for myself and to please God, not other people.  Despite these experiences, I have felt very blessed by the compassion and support of my inner circle of family and friends.

BEAUTY REDEFINED

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes.  Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight."  1 Peter 3:3-4

Clichés like "beauty is only skin deep" and "beauty is in the eye of the beholder"  do not mean much as long as we look to the world to define beauty.  I spent too much of my life yearning to look and feel beautiful while falling short in comparison to the beauty of the world.  As my relationship with God has developed over time, my perspective on beauty has altered. Redefined beauty marks the transformation of the ordinary and seemingly insignificant, which has been deemed lovely in the eyes of a Creator who notices when a sparrow falls and who has clothed the lilies of the field with splendor (Matthew 1:29; Luke 12:27).  In light of this revelation, I have discovered beauty in the everyday moments that I once took for granted. Beauty is found in the memory of a grandmother's gentle touch, a mother's unconditional love, and a father's unwavering commitment to provide for his family.  There is indescribable beauty of new life as a fragile helpless baby enters the world for the first time, seeking nourishment from  my own flesh--a miracle that only a mother can truly comprehend.  I find beauty in the glint of a child's eyes, belly laughs, new discoveries, and the growing pains of parenthood.

There is also beauty in the tragic aspects of life.  I fondly remember my time spent on the memory care unit with the seemingly hopeless and lost--delighting in the warm touch of soft wrinkled hands and the discovery of souls emerging through fragmented memories and glimpses of the past.  Beauty also emerged in the moment I feared my own life was slipping away.  One afternoon I was asleep in bed, my body afflicted with piercing pain and overwhelming weakness. I opened my eyes to find my husband kneeling over me begging God for my healing.  There was tender beauty in his daily sacrifices for my welfare and his steadfast love for me.   I have experienced heartbreaking painful beauty at the end of life.  Not long ago, I sat in the hospital room, holding my friend's hand and praying for the life I was not ready to release to eternity.   I'll never forget the moment she heard my name and opened her eyes wide, distant eyes that reflected kingdom glory just around the corner.  All these things have been painfully beautiful, a paradox in the making when eternity transcends worldly beauty and nothing is the same ever again.

BEAUTY FROM THE ASHES

"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us."  Romans 8:18

  In recent years, God has placed a message on my heart that tribulation and suffering can be a conduit for Him to build our character, prune our lives, make us more like Jesus, and to reveal more of His glory.  I have recently studied scripture that compares suffering to a silversmith refining silver (1 Peter 1:7; Psalm 66:10-12; Isaiah 48:9-11).  The beauty of pure silver surfaces when it is passed through scorching fire.  Just the same, we are purified and made more beautiful in the inferno of our own suffering.  The Bible testifies how God has used suffering through men like Joseph and Job to reveal a greater plan behind the scenes, woven into the tapestry of affliction.  Although they could not see God's plan at the time of their horrific circumstances, they held fast to the promises of God.  These men were later blessed for their steadfast refusal to curse God or turn away from Him.  Jesus Himself endured unimaginable suffering as He was brutally beaten and hung on a cross.  His followers couldn't comprehend a God who would allow the weak, the beaten, and the murdered to transform into power, majesty, and new life.  Christ's own affliction changed time and history forever.  There is ultimate beauty that demonstrates itself in More of Christ and Less of us.


BEAUTY TRANSFORMED

The world's definition of health and beauty is fleeting, a chasing of the wind that is here today and blown away tomorrow like chaff.  When God enters the picture, everything changes and beauty is transformed into His likeness.   God's transformation in my life has not been easy but He has carried me through.  The past four years have been overwhelming for me; however, I am in awe of God's powerful work in my situation.  I wouldn't trade His revelations for anything.   As I reflect the years, I can see how my perspective has changed through my prayer life.  Early on, my prayers were desperate pleadings with God that cried out to Him "why is this happening to me?"  Later, my prayers reflected the beginning of acceptance for my circumstances as I asked God to show himself to me and help me to see how He was using my suffering for His purpose.   Now, my prayers consist of asking God to show me how He can use my circumstances for His glory and to help others who are suffering.  A couple of weeks ago, I was reflecting on my journey and wrote down a list of the lessons God has been teaching me through my recent experiences:

• I am here on earth for a temporary assignment and my real home is in eternity
• I will be rewarded in heaven for my suffering
• God has created me the way I am for His purpose
•  When I degrade myself, compare myself to others, or wish I could change who I am, I am rejecting His beautiful creation
• Christ conquered death on the cross, therefore I no longer need to be afraid of death
• I need not worry about what others think of me because Christ, my defender, redeems all things
• God tends to use weakness and things of minimal worldly value for His kingdom so He must have something magnificent in store for me
• Thanksgiving and gratitude are the ultimate gifts I can give back to God
• Praise releases incredible power 
• Everything, both good and bad, is for God's purpose and will bring Him glory

As I penciled this list in my journal, I experienced a powerful release in my spirit.  There is immense freedom in looking at your life through the lens of eternity.  God is my hope and my strength.  His truth diminishes the beauty of the world and exposes His everlasting beauty.  Everything pales in comparison to Christ's eternal glory.

"He has made everything beautiful in its time.  He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end."  Ecclesiastes 3:11

RESOURCES

For more information and practical tips for nutrition and the benefits of a healthy diet, you can visit Karen Hurd's blog: http://www.karenhurd.com/ 

Here are some my favorite books that express beauty from an eternal perspective and describe how God uses our suffering to sanctify us:

http://www.amazon.com/So-Long-Insecurity-Youve-Friend/dp/1414334729

http://www.amazon.com/Calm-Anxious-Heart-Contentment-Collection-ebook/dp/B006U061LQ

https://maxlucado.com/youll-get-through-this-chapter-one/

https://www.amazon.com/As-Silver-Refined-Answers-Disappointments/dp/1400073480/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1397927612&sr=8-1&keywords=as+silver+refined+kay+arthur

https://www.amazon.com/Mercy-Wilderness-Susie-Larson/dp/1553061470

https://www.amazon.com/One-Thousand-Gifts-Fully-Right/dp/0310321913/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1397927746&sr=8-1&keywords=1000+gifts+voskamp

http://www.jesuscalling.com/

https://www.amazon.com/Streams-Desert-L-B-Cowman/dp/0310210062

Renewed by Truth: A Family's Wellness Journey

"I am the way and the truth and the life.  No one comes to the father except through me."  John 14:6

When we come to know God's purpose for our lives, we encounter Christ's truth that has the power to transform and renew us.  This transformation has taken place for the Routh family who has had a personal encounter with God's purpose for their faith and wellness journey.  Chris and Sherri Routh were both raised in Midwest farming communities.  More than 15 years ago, their lives were transformed by their shared faith in Christ and their union in marriage.  Later on, the Rouths were blessed with two beautiful daughters.  They felt strongly that they wanted the best for their children and therefore dramatically changed their lifestyles to be as healthy as possible.  This goal eventually led to the decision to move their family from Missouri to Southlake, Texas, where the climate was ideal for wellness and where their family would experience new opportunities.  In Southlake, they became actively involved in the evangelistic Gateway Church.  Since then, Chris and Sherri have deepened their faith through Bible reading, worship, and the teachings of Pastor Robert Morris and his TV program, the Blessed Life.  In pursuit of ultimate truth, they have searched God's word for wisdom and have submitted all parts of their lives to Christ.  This endeavor has translated into their decision to live holistically through alternative healthcare and whole nutrition.

RENEWED AND HEALED

"Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed."  Hebrews 12:12-13

Both Chris and Sherri have been renewed by their faith walk and the healing results of holistic health during challenging times.  Chris's interest in alternative medicine/holistic health derived from his experience growing up on a dairy farm in rural Missouri.  At one time, the Routh family farm had 350 dairy herd and 3000 pigs.  Their animals were unhealthy and were not thriving with the nutritional mineral blocks that were standard protocol to use for livestock.  Chris's dad was concerned that they would have to go out of business if they didn't make a change.  At a farm show, Mr. Routh met with a display representative that shared the health benefits of using natural nutritional products with raw nutrients and iodine instead of the added sugars and synthetic chemicals of popular brands.  Chris's dad decided to stop following the crowd and gave raw/whole nutrition a try.  Fortunately, it worked!  The livestock were much healthier and thrived on quality nutrition.  Although the Routh livestock thrived on whole foods, Chris did not fully understand that he might experience the same benefits until he was in his 20's.   At the age of 23, Chris was working nights while attending college and was under a tremendous amount of stress.  Around that time, he sustained a work-related back/hip injury.  Chris was initially unable to stand up and was forced to use a cane for mobility.    He tried pain killers and steroids with minimal results.  A coworker then suggested that Chris go to his chiropractor.  After five visits over a two-week period, he felt better and stronger than he had in over six months.  This experience was the beginning of a complete transformation and lifestyle change for Chris.

Sherri realized her dire need for a holistic lifestyle when she struggled with gallbladder issues in her 20's.  Her physical health was compromised for more than seven years with this problem.  Sherri eliminated hundreds of gallstones through several cleanses; however, she was unable to eliminate three larger ones that loosened and caused scar tissue when they moved, immobilizing her gallbladder.  Chris and Sherri used the internet to research naturopathic practitioners that could assist Sherri with her health concern.  They contacted a nutritionist/naturopathic doctor from Dallas who referred Sherri to the best surgeon in the area.  The surgeon evaluated Sherri's condition, confirmed what the naturopathic practitioner suspected, and surgically removed the gallbladder.  Diet and proper nutrition helped Sherri to improve her digestive system and over-all health. She believes the outcome would have been very different if she knew early on about the health risks of using birth control products as well as the benefits of whole nutrition and holistic health.  

PURE HEALTH

Chris and Sherri have made "pure health" their family philosophy for wellness.  Chris explains that the concept of "pure health" derives from the teachings of Dr. Jordin Rubin. "Dr. Rubin shared in one of his lectures that pure chiropractic care, pure air, pure water, pure food, pure supplements, and pure health and beauty aids, lead to pure health.  We should pursue chiropractic first, nutrition second, natural medicine third, drugs fourth, and surgery last.  In our society, we typically do the opposite of this.  Instead of using natural health to prevent disease, we take prescriptions to react to the disease.  The medications have so many side effects that they lead to more drugs.  It is better to achieve optimal health and wellness by naturally preventing disease." /http://www.jordanrubin.com/

PURE CHIROPRACTIC:  Chris and Sherri both have been going to a chiropractor for more than ten years, and they believe that it is the most important choice for their healthy lifestyle.   "Neither alternative nor conventional medicine will work if the body is not in good alignment, allowing free flowing information to flow to and from the brain, organs, and body.  This is necessary in order for the body to repair itself.  Scientific evidence demonstrates that your body will not achieve optimal health when the spine is compacted and out of alignment as the spinal cord and surrounding spinal fluid will be pressured/pinched and the information the body is trying to communicate to itself will not flow freely."

PURE AIR AND WATER:  The Rouths achieve pure air and pure water by investing in a good quality air purifier and water filter.   They find it vital to drink a lot of filtered water and breathe air that is free of contaminants.  

PURE FOOD AND SUPPLEMENTS:   Chris and Sherri believe that whole nutrition is also a critical aspect of their healthy lifestyle.  They would ideally like to eat all organic foods with raw ingredients; however, they needed to come up with the most cost effective plan for their family budget.  The Rouths do most of their shopping at Aldi and Walmart, and they shop smart. "We went through every single food product in our home and looked for bad or questionable ingredients.  Then, we went to Walmart and looked for alternative products.  You can change quite a bit of what you purchase for just a few more bucks without going to Whole Foods.  Even there, you have to know your ingredients."

 Some of the ingredients that the Rouths avoid include gluten, soy, MSG, partially hydrogenated, autolyzed, enriched, bleached, brominated, corn syrup, and other unnatural sweeteners.  They have eliminated most grains from their diet and eat a variety of fresh vegetables and fruits. They consume only healthy unprocessed meats and utilize coconut and palm kernel oil as their primary sources of fat.

Chris and Sherri discovered that whole organic supplementation is essential for quality balanced nutrition.  They have researched and used several supplements over the years; however, they have found the best results with multivitamins and other supplements through the Synergy Company.  They believe that Synergy is the most raw supplement company available.  They also recommend Megafoods, New Chapter, and Garden of Life.  When looking at any new product, they investigate the positive and negative reviews of each product in order to make an informed decision.  

Juicing is another powerful way to achieve quality nutrition and heal the body.  Chris shares that he has read studies that demonstrate several illnesses can improve or be cured through juicing two to three times a day with organic vegetables and fruits. "Certain vegetables, fruits, berries, and nuts have great medicinal properties, and when juicing them you are almost overeating them or using them like steroids.  One must be very careful and know what they are doing when juicing this strongly as the medicinal properties can be stronger than medicine.  Juicing should be practical and used in moderation." 

The Routh family changed all of their food storage containers to glass and threw out any plastic kitchenware that could potentially leach BPA and other chemicals into their food.  They also thoroughly researched the safest cookware and purchased ceramic Ceramcor products and a carbon steel skillet, stating these products are considered to be very safe.  Chris and Sherri decided to get rid of their microwave because microwaves tend to leak harmful radiation and produce strong electromagnetic frequencies. "Put a glass of water in the microwave and warm it up.  Then, let it cool down to room temperature.  Pour it on a plant and watch to see what happens to the plant a few days later.  We have replaced our microwave with a Secura halogen light oven and a Hamilton Beach dual level toaster oven."

PURE HEALTH AND BEAUTY AIDS:  Chris and Sherri are discerning about what health and beauty products they use.  They have researched thoroughly what harmful chemicals are in conventional and organic beauty products and have purchased what they believe to be the safest for their family.

ADRENAL AND THYROID HEALTH

Another crucial element of living healthy is achieving an optimal adrenal and thyroid function.  This has been a challenge for both Chris and Sherri, who have experienced adrenal/thyroid problems.  Almost five years ago, Chris discovered that he had some nodules in his thyroid, and he was in the beginning stages of hypothyroidism.  Chris did a myriad of research on the topic, engaging in discussions with practitioners/health forums.   Both Chris and Sherri decided to supplement and detoxify their thyroids with iodine and other products.  This was a very tricky process as they found that supplementing with iodine can stress the thyroid. It took years of supplementation to get their adrenal systems and thyroid functions where they wanted it.   

 Chris explains, "Most adrenal and thyroid issues take years to recover to optimal energy levels on a consistent basis.  Iodine will displace toxic heavy metals and other toxins.  Only iodine and selenium (glutathione) will reduce the thyroid nodules and induce apoptosis in cancer cells, along with whole food vitamin C.  Detoxing the thyroid isn't easy and doesn't go smoothly for a while.  We had to start supplementing with natural dessicated thyroid because our thyroids had been detoxing that much.  We recently began decreasing the thyroid dosages which means our thyroids are getting the nutrition they need, and are healthier/stronger.  My thyroid nodules are now completely gone."

HEALTHY PH BALANCE

The Rouths also researched the health benefits of achieving a balanced PH system in your body.  Their goal is to avoid acidic PH levels by being more alkaline.  Their PH levels typically run alkaline--between 6.5 and 7 when fasting and between 7 and 8 when not fasting.  "There have been many studies done where some people have healed various ailments simply by elevating their PH levels.  This is achieved by inexpensive means such as Alkazone drops, eating lots of fruits and vegetables, juicing, and/or using green drinks.  The fastest way is by using a Kangen Enagic SD501 alkalizing water machine, which has the most research and testing for the most consistent results." 

HEALTHY CHILDREN

Chris and Sherri chose to maximize the health and vitality of their two daughters by providing them with a holistic lifestyle.  When the Rouths discovered they were expecting their first child, they decided to give their baby a great start with Sherri's healthy eating and using natural supplements.  Sherri enjoyed the advantages of a healthy lifestyle during pregnancy by having minimal morning sickness and no excessive weight gain.  She also enjoyed nursing her sweet girls for as long as possible.  The Routh children were exposed to chiropractic care at infancy.  In fact, two chiropractor visits completely cured their first child from colic symptoms. The girls were fed organic baby food and high quality whole food supplements designed for infants and children. Because of their early exposure to whole foods, the girls have been accepting of a whole diet and will pretty much eat anything.   They have never had any vaccines and have utilized very little antibiotics.  Instead, their parents usually treat their colds and other infections with olive leaf and oregano products from North American Herb and Spice.  Over all, the Rouths' daughters have been very healthy and are rarely sick.

TESTING WHAT IS TRUE

"I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable by God, which is your spiritual worship.   Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."  Romans 12:1-2

As Chris and Sherri grew in their knowledge about the ways of God, they came to a greater understanding of the importance of researching and testing out information about holistic health.  Over the years, Chris has spent numerous hours reading and researching information on the internet, contacting alternative practitioners for advice, and joining holistic health forums.  Aside from routine chiropractic care, the Rouths made the decision to do their own research instead of paying the additional costs of seeing alternative practitioners.  Chris remembers, "I was a walking sinus infection after several rounds of antibiotics until I went natural.  I was then just a guinea pig until I found what worked for me.  Curezone forums and Earth Clinic forums are very good for finding what works and doesn't work because there is just as much corruption in the natural alternative medicine than there is in the traditional area."

The process of achieving wellness through research and experimentation has enlightened both Chris and Sherri about the advantages of pursuing ultimate truth.  Chris shares his truth philosophy,"The Bible basically says, 'Challenge everything.  Put it to a test to find out what is holy and true.' (1 Thessalonians 5:21).  After you think you've found out what you are looking for, challenge it some more. You either believe all of the Bible or you don't believe it at all, and the Bible says anything is possible.  If you don't get the exact answer you need, the next thing that will confirm you have the exact truth is just one simple thing, results!    Even if you don't get the right product, supplement, eating plan, naturopathic physician, technique, device, or whatever it is that you use, don't ever give up.  Traditional medicine is excellent, but only for certain reasons.  Natural medicine is excellent for certain reasons as well; however, both are rarely best at the same time.  Critical life or death situations are usually where I tell people to throw everything but the kitchen sink at, and make sure you have a great naturopathic physician that can guide your traditional doctor to make sure the isn't any contraindications.  God gave us all of it, and we have to find out how to use everything He gave us.  God created everything and created your body to heal and live optimally.  If you aren't challenging everything, you will get suckered into many things.  It's like the saying, 'stand for something or fall for anything.' "

THE PROOF IS IN THE RESULTS

For both Chris and Sherri the proof of what is true and what has worked for them has been demonstrated in the results they have achieved with their holistic lifestyle.  When they made the decision to switch over to whole foods and organic supplements ten years ago, they had a true physical transformation.  Chris and Sherri experienced an increase in energy as their bodies became stronger and healthier.   They both testify that they are now thriving and feel great.  Chris shares, "At age 43, I feel at times better than when I was in my 20's!"  

THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE

"Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free."  John 8:32

Truth has been the ultimate standard for Chris and Sherri's daily walk as they strive to be their best for God.  When making important daily decisions they look to Jesus's example and ask themselves what His standard would be. Before researching any new idea or concept they will take a moment to pray for God's wisdom and discernment.  Chris and Sherri want to use the knowledge that they have gained through years of research and experience to help others to achieve their best as well.  They openly share both their faith and the facts/resources they have learned by living holistically.  "Nothing is personal.  We are in the business of living our lives to the best of our ability for God and helping everyone else that we are around to learn and do the same thing.  That's all life really is.  The truth has no agenda, and it will set you free."

RESOURCES

Chris and Sherri would like to share some of their favorite websites and sources of information that have helped them in their wellness journey.

LIVING WELL FOR GOD

For more information about Gateway Church and the teachings of Robert Morris:
 http://gatewaypeople.com/

/http://www.theblessedlife.com/

Chris and Sherri recommend these websites that have impacted their pursuit for ultimate truth:
http://www.arlingtoncardinal.com/2012/03/paul-harvey-if-i-were-the-devil-radio-audio-and-transcript/
http://www.brotherjohnf.com/

Information about alternative healthcare from a Christian perspective:

http://www.biblicalhealthinstitute.com/

PURE CHIROPRACTIC CARE

For more good information about finding a chiropractor, Chris and Sherri recommend looking at these websites and doing your own research.  They also recommend you find a practitioner that provides manual chiropractic care:
http://www.elevationhealth.com/
http://maximizedliving.com/

PURE AIR AND WATER

http://www.air-purifier-power.com/

PURE FOOD AND SUPPLEMENTS

Chris and Sherri recommend looking up articles on this website to learn more information about the importance of a whole diet and other aspects of holistic living:

http://www.mercola.com/

This is where Chris and Sherri get most of their  supplements: https://www.thesynergycompany.com/products

Resources on juicing:

http://www.juicingbook.com/

http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2011/11/13/benefits-of-juicing.aspx

PURE HEALTH AND BEAUTY AIDS

Here are a couple of resources where Chris and Sherri get their health and beauty products that they believe to be the best and safest:

http://aubreyorganics.com/

http://www.productsknowledge.info/MiracleSoaps.aspx

SAFE HOUSEHOLD PRODUCTS

Information on the cookware that Chris and Sherri use:

http://www.ceramcor.com/

Chris and Sherri share that this book is a must for investigating what products are safe:

https://www.amazon.com/The-Safe-Shoppers-Bible-Consumers/dp/0020820852

THYROID AND ADRENAL HEALTH

http://naturalthyroidchoices.com/

https://stopthethyroidmadness.com/adrenal-wisdom/

http://iodineresearch.com/

PH BALANCE

http://www.naturalnews.com/022875_body_health_blood.html
http://www.naturalnews.com/032143_pH_levels_natural_remedies.html#
http://www.enagic.com/watertheory.php

OTHER FAVORITE WEBSITES

http://www.naturalnews.com/

http://www.curezone.org/

https://www.earthclinic.com/

http://www.doctoryourself.com/

Abiding the Valley: when we are called to wait

"We wait in hope for the Lord; he is our help and our shield.  In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name.  May your unfailing love rest upon us, O Lord, even as we put our hope in you."  Psalm 33:20-22

Waiting for Spring

There is so much beauty in the winter. Diamond icicles cascade graceful branches. Glistening snow blankets the earth, reflecting heavenly light with reminders of God's promise to wash our sins "as white as snow" (Isaiah 1:18).   Despite this magnificent promise, we can fall into the trap of doldrums as winter slumps can seem to overtake our bright spirits with lingering shadows.  March is on its way, and the winter cold seems to drag on with no end in sight.  I pull out my seed catalog and envision warm weather.  The hope of spring is a seemingly distant dream.  Cooped up in the house day after day, I let out a long sigh and wonder why waiting can be so difficult.

  

My Ways are Not His

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."  Proverbs 3:5-6

Waiting contradicts human nature, especially in our fast-paced culture.  One of the most trying lessons in waiting on the Lord is realizing that we cannot control or fix our circumstances.  This can be exasperating when we consistently attempt to take charge of our own lives.  About a month ago, my husband and I were on the brink of making some critical decisions.  We sought counsel from others and spent time praying for guidance. One morning, I found myself bargaining with God about what I thought should happen.  My prayer went something like, "But God, if only it would work out this way, then it would be the answer to our problem."  A voice in my mind abruptly cut off my line of thinking with " 'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,'  declares the Lord" (Isaiah 55:8).  I probably rolled my eyes at His quick response to my pleading as I replied, "OK God.  I get it."  I didn't take His answer as no, but a gentle rebuke that I need to wait and trust Him to guide our family.  Ultimately, He knows what is best and will work things out in His own way and timing.    Giving God the driver's seat goes against the grain of our selfish nature; yet, there is freedom in recognizing He is ultimately in control.

Abiding the Valley

"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for you are with me; your rod and your staff they comfort me."  Psalm 23:4

 Lately, it seems like I've talked to so many women who are waiting with heavy hearts.  Some are waiting for husbands or children to come around.   Others are waiting for the economy to improve and business to finally profit.  Amidst the turmoil of  health problems and devastating news, I have friends who are waiting for insurance to approve an MRI, for test results to determine the next step, and to find out how much cancer there is.  Many of us are waiting for that breakthrough that just hasn't come through yet.  Some days my heart is burdened for the trials that we all endure.  

It can be despairing to wait in the dark valley for our circumstances to get better as we search for a glimmer of hope to carry us through.  When I have struggled with waiting on God, I often meditate on Psalm 23. I close my eyes and envision my Shepherd leading me through the darkness with His staff of comfort.  Just imagining lying down in green pastures before the glory of God brings peace to my heart when everything within me tells me to panic.  Only God can create a paradigm of peace that brings light to the darkness.

The Fulfillment of God's Promises

"So we do not lose heart.  Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.  For this light momentary affliction is preparing us for an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen.  For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal."  2 Corinthians 4:16

The last four years has been an agonizing lesson in waiting for me and my family.  Honestly, if it weren't for our unwavering faith and the promises of God, I think we would have all wanted to give up and succumb to a tidal wave of despair.  When the ebb and flow of heartache washes over us, we can either be swept away or hang on to the rock of God's promises.  The hope I've found in God's word has been that rock for me, keeping me grounded.  I've come to realize that no matter what happens in this lifetime, I have hope beyond measure in things that are unseen.

Waiting on the fulfillment of God's promises is like expecting a baby.  When I discovered I was pregnant 15 years ago, it seemed surreal, and I was more than a little scared.  As time went on, I gradually adjusted to the idea of carrying a baby as well as the hormone and biological changes of pregnancy.  My body blossomed with the reality of my situation becoming more evident each day.  Soon, I felt the baby kick for the first time--a glimpse of the unseen wonder of new life to come.  Then, towards the end, when my stomach felt as huge as a boat, it seemed like forever before I would see my precious bundle.  Excitement and fear were mingled with my anticipation for cherished wonder.  When the baby was ready, I endured the excruciating pain of labor and childbirth.  Afterwards, with weary breathless joy, I held my precious baby for the first time.  The fulfillment of all my waiting seemed to wash away the memory of the sting of pain in delivering my sweet miracle.

Likewise, the reality of God's future glory sometimes seems too distant to be real; yet, like gentle flutters in the womb, I catch glimpses of the unseen.    A dear friend of mine has been suffering for almost two years with seemingly unfair circumstances.  Last week, she sent me an email that reflected her despair mingled with hope as she wrote, "I would like the second coming to happen this week.  Is that too much to ask?"  I know all too well what she means as I anticipate the fulfillment of Revelation 21:3-4:  "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them and be their God.  He will wipe every tear from their eyes.  There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."  When we view our lives from the lens of eternity and the promise of Christ's return to conquer evil and set all things straight, our spirits are renewed. We see everything from a whole new perspective when we realize our days on earth are merely a speck in comparison to His eternal glory.

"Be patient, then brothers, until the Lord's coming.  See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop and how patient he is for the autumn and spring rains.  You too, be patient, and stand firm, because the Lord's coming is near." James 5:7-8

Mercies in the Moment

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord.  ‘Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’”  Jeremiah 29:11

We have come upon another New Year for plans, resolutions, second chances, and mercies that are fresh and new.   In 2013 my eyes were opened to the ways of God and His purpose in my sinful, messed up, and less than perfect life.  God demonstrated an agenda to unfold His plans for someone like me in my own weaknesses just as He did for people like Job, Moses, Gideon, David, Jonah, Rahab, and a simple peasant girl in Nazareth.  God did a great work in each one of them despite their mistakes, failures, and poverty.   With this in mind, I have decided to embark 2014 with a New Heart Revelation instead of a New Years Resolution. I am determined to face 2014 with a blind faith and trust in the unseen ways of my Creator, to rest on His promises and purposes in His perfect timing.

UNCERTAIN TIMES

"The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the afflicted; He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim the favorable year of the Lord, and the day of vengeance to our God; to comfort all who mourn, to grant those who mourn in Zion, giving them a garland instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the mantle of praise instead of a spirit of fainting.  So they will be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified."  Isaiah 61:1-3

The world can be a be an intolerable place of grief, depression, addiction, estrangement, divorce, abuse, unemployment, cancer, affliction, and despair.  For some the holiday season evokes reminders of the devastating circumstances of a crisis situation. Life isn't fair, and it is sometimes too distressful for words.  The weight of circumstances such as these are overwhelming.   It is easy to admonish others for their worry and anxiety until your child is diagnosed with cancer, the business you carefully labored over for years suddenly fails, or your spouse announces impending divorce.  Your life becomes suddenly rocked with a serious illness and your doctor tells you there is nothing more that can be done.  Sometimes, we are blind-sighted with unimaginable sources of pain.

THE HOLIDAYS

It is the weekend before New Years, and our family had a quiet, uneventful Christmas.  I am doing my treatments and recently had a new procedure in hopes to get my body back to where it needs to be healthy.  It has been more than 4 years now.  More than 4 years since I can remember feeling normal without struggling day to day with neurological symptoms and episodes of vertigo.  I am beyond the point of feeling like I woke up in a never-ending nightmare.   For the most part, I have come to a place of acceptance that this is my new normal.  I push through each day, sometimes gritting my teeth through the physical pain and episodes of weakness.  I try to shake it off and make occasional jokes about my tired old body.

New Years Eve is approaching in a few days and I am a little fed up with it all.  I see everyone else living their lives, seemingly oblivious to what I struggle with from day to day.  They are out enjoying themselves and their families while I am having one of those days where it is a challenge to make supper and do the dishes without falling.  No one has any idea that my right leg is not working right today and I lean against the wall to make it across the room.  No one knows that I sometimes wake up at night with twitching in my head that feels like a rubber ball is bouncing in my brain. When I get up to use the bathroom, I have to hold onto the sink because the room is spinning and I take a deep breath through the nausea.   Now, I sit alone in silence, my children outside playing in the fresh and pure snow, and I take a moment to let the tears fall for all that I am missing out on and all that everyone else seems to take for granted.  God allows me to wallow in my pity for a moment, then He begins to coax me and guide me out of my anguish.  I can feel His presence breathing in me,  "I'll never fail you or forsake you."  He seems to whisper in my spirit,  "Trust me."  Like a small child,  I take His hand and walk again in faith, allowing Him to lead me to the next place. I breath and I pray and I trust.  The moment of self pity has dissipated, and I know that despite all I've lost and missed out on God has given me enough of His grace to make it and I will be OK.

That is how life has become what it is for me.  I struggle through days with my less than perfect body and less than perfect attitude, discovering the mercies and promises of a sovereign God who meets me in each moment with unsearchable compassion and love.  He always gives me just what I need in the moment.  Just enough.  No less.  No more.

LIVING IN THE MOMENT

Living in the moment isn't easy, and it is impossible to do in your own strength.  Living in the moment is about making a daily decision to trust God to meet you where you are and to show Himself and His truth.  If we worry about the past, our mistakes, and what we should have done differently; if we focus on the unknown future, we will find ourselves on a downward spiral of hopelessness.  We can't change the past and we can't control the future.  All we have is now.  This moment to live, to breath, and to walk by faith.  We will encounter God in that moment when we focus our eyes on Him and trust Him.  He knows our worries, our fears, and our failures; yet He still loves us more than we could ever imagine.  He yearns for us to put caution to the wind and jump feet first into the seas of trust, holding on for dear life to the Rock of Salvation.

Everyone has different ways to manage their difficult circumstances.  I want to share some of the strategies that have helped me to cope as I have chosen to live my life moment by moment.

ABIDE IN THE LORD

"I am the vine; you are the branches.  Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing."  John 15:5

In order to live more fully in the moment, you must first recognize that you can't do it on your own.  God honors your confession of this truth through prayer as you obediently make the decision to spend time getting to know Him.  I set aside time every day to digest God's word through daily readings and inductive study.  I also enjoy reading Christian books that focus on various subjects such as security, contentment, freedom, and perseverance.  Spending time in God's word has been necessary for me to understand His character, His ways, and His purpose for my life.

I have found creative ways to seek God's company through prayer and a personal relationship. When I am outside, I feel closest to God.  There is something about nature that seems to speak and breath God's presence.  In the summer, I often do my daily Bible study and prayer time outside.  I cherish sweet moments out in the garden witnessing my Creator's presence through His creation.  As I go about my day, I am mindful of His presence.  I talk to Him throughout the day with brief prayers and silent conversations.  I also set aside periods of time for prayer. It is beneficial to write down specific prayer requests and record His answers to prayer.  When I am busy becoming too comfortable in my daily routine, I easily loose sight of this and start to ignore His presence in my life.  I need occasional reminders to stay connected.  When I do, God methodically reveals more and more of who He is.

CAST YOUR WORRIES ON HIM


"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own."  Matthew 6:34.

I am by nature a worrier.  My mom teases me that I come by it genetically.  One of my greatest challenges in coping with chronic health problems has been finding healthy ways to deal with my worries, fears, and anxieties.  The Bible simply tells us "do not fear" (Isaiah 41:10), "do not worry" (Matthew 6:25), and "cast all your anxieties on him" (1 Peter 5:7).  I can read these verses over and over again, and yet still find myself worrying about the unknown. The skill of overcoming worry is developed through my daily decision to spend time with God as He works through this battle in my heart.  He is providing me with a step by step lesson in faith and trust.  God always gives me just enough mercy and grace to cope with the struggles I face in each moment, not the ones I imagine could happen.  Learning to have faith and to cast my worries on God has become easier for me with practice and time.  I recently made what I call a "worry box."  I wrapped a box with pretty silver paper to hold all my worries, symbolic of giving them over to God.  When I ruminate on a particularly stressful situation, I take a moment to write down my fears and frustrations on a piece of paper.  Then I put it in the box, offering as a sacrificial prayer to Him who is in control of all things.   I have experienced release from worry by giving it to the Lord and declaring trust that He will take care of my needs.  Sometimes, I find myself writing down the same worry a few days or a week later, needing to release it again.  I don't always demonstrate complete faith in God.  He is teaching me. I call myself a "work in progress."

WRITE IT DOWN

I am a writer and a list maker.  I'm not excessively organized; however, I feel better when I keep a certain level of order in my life as well as a consistent routine.  I do this by making daily to do lists and writing in a journal.  I journal about my day, what is on my mind, and my relationship with the Lord.  I also journal prayers and conversations with my Creator.  In my writing, I express what I discover about God and what I've learned through Bible study.  I write down my physical and neurological symptoms when they come and then give them over to the Lord.  There is something about writing it down and naming it that liberates me.

COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS

"And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the father through him."  Colossians 3:17

Another revelation I recently discovered was the true power of gratitude.  A couple years ago, I started making short lists of what I'm thankful for at the end of the day.  This summer, I decided to take it a step further and accept the "Joy Dare" challenge by keeping a specific gratitude journal.  My goal was to record 1000 things I was thankful for in 2013.  I made it to 1000 by Christmas and kept going.  When I go back to the list, I rediscover a beautiful record of simple pleasures and moments of joy.  Gratitude has been a blessing to me as a choice to record thankfulness when I feel anything but grateful.  Some days I just feel like I need more grace than gratitude, yet by making a conscious effort to focus on that which I am thankful for seems to lessen the hold of worry and defeat on my spirit. As I embark another year in the Lord's presence, my prayer is that I will be able to continue to choose an attitude of gratitude and hold fast to the simple pleasures He gives in the moment.

FORGIVE

"Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you."  Colossians 3:13

There is a barrier in our relationship with God as long as we carry bitterness in our hearts.  When we hold onto the wrongs others have made against us, we only hurt ourselves.  It weighs us down like a heavy boulder.  Life is too short for carrying around grudges.  Forgiveness is a decision we make to release this burden and set us free from self-inflicted misery.  A few years ago, I prayed for God to show me who I needed to forgive and wrote down a list of everyone who had hurt me.  Then, I prayed specifically for each person, their specific offense, and released them to the Lord.  I asked God to release the pain and damaged emotions in my heart from their actions.  Afterwards, I felt a tremendous amount of relief.  Now, forgiveness is a regular part of my prayer life.  Once in a while, God nudges me a little.  I always feel better when I make the choice to let it go to the Lord.  I know that He will hold that person accountable for their actions so I don't have to carry the burden anymore.  

Just as God commands us to forgive others, He also calls us to swallow our pride and ask for forgiveness.  It is a humbling experience to admit when we are wrong.  I feel a new sense of freedom when I confess it and receive the gift of God's grace.

BUILD A SUPPORT NETWORK

A couple of years ago,  I was completely undone by the effects of Lyme disease and other related infections. I felt as though I was at the end of my rope and desperately cried out for friends and family to help me.  During that season, I was embarking a spiritual wilderness that no one could help me through.  God made it clear to me that He wanted me to lean primarily on Him for comfort and hope.  That is how I learned the true depth of my dependence upon Him.   Through these troubled times, God blessed me with a network of supportive friends and family.  They have stood by me and consistently prayed for me and my family.  They have shared in sadness for my losses and rejoiced with the ground I have gained in my health.  My experience has also led to new friendships with others who share similar struggles as my own, creating deep and encouraging relationships of faith.  My support network has made a difference in my life as I have linked arms with others.  We are walking this journey together, encouraging each other through our trials and triumphs.

USE YOUR STRUGGLES TO HELP OTHERS

I eventually came to a crossroads of acceptance for my circumstances and asked the Lord to clearly show me what He is trying to teach me through my struggles.  As I build a personal relationship with my Lord and abide in Him day by day, I have found that He is calling me to look upon the suffering of others with compassion and prayer.  I see the weight of what others go through and my heart yearns for their breakthrough.   When a dear friend passed away from cancer three months ago, her testimony of faith demonstrated her desire to use her cancer to help others up until the very end.  I was all the more determined to not waste anything the Lord has given me.  When He instructs me to take a moment to ask someone how they are doing and how I can pray for them, I remember how much those words have meant to me.  Sometimes people need a few words of encouragement and the truth of God's promises.  God placed us here on earth with these trials that He has the power to use for His greater glory. I want to live more on purpose for His purpose even if it means I have to suffer in the process.

NEW MERCIES

The Lord has given me this moment in this day.  It is my choice how I live it.  When the day is over and I lay down to slumber, counting blessings and handing over my heartaches, I choose to anticipate fresh new mercies that the morning brings.

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. 'The Lord is my portion,' says my soul, 'therefor I will hope in him.'"  Lamentations 3:22-24