“For I know that my Redeemer lives, and at the last he will stand upon the earth. And after my skin has been thus destroyed, yet in my flesh I shall see God, whom I shall see for myself, and my eyes shall behold, and not another. My heart faints within me!” Job 19:25-27
Landmarks of Faith
It all began with a girl not yet entering teens, terribly
shy, with flaxen hair and blue-gray eyes. Unsure of self, a child meek and
lost. Not long ago chasing monsters from underneath the bed. One day, taking a leap of faith and choosing
the path of redemption. Uncertain of
what it all means, a girl thrust into the broken journey of adolescence. A life outlined by joy and sorrow, a legacy
of faith marked by pain. Why all this
pain? Entering in and out of the
presence of a God so close yet seemingly distant. Choosing a path of uncertainty, chasing falsehoods and broken
dreams.
Young adulthood is confusing, shaping identities, becoming
seduced by the world’s facade of beauty.
The course of wrong choices played itself out until the Lord said
“enough” and initiated the gift of grace, a father’s love for his prodigal
child. A testimony blossoming in the
presence of God’s redemptive plans.
Feeling exhilarated with a new-found relationship with the Creator of the
universe and the freedom it offers. The
delight in discovery of Christ and the power of prayer, yet there seems to be a
detour in the making. Isn't Christianity
always about joy? Doesn't God protect
his children from failures and sorrows?
How easy it is to slip away, allowing the weight of worry and the state
of self-indulgence numb the senses.
Bitterness is a slow deadly poison that seeps into the pores of
existence until it deadens the soul and without realizing it consumes with
apathy. Endless longings for the way it
used to be, yet stuck in a stronghold of defeat. This isn't the life I planned
for myself. “Why are you cast down,
O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my
God.” Psalm 42:5
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Reduced and Pruned
When life becomes too big with busy schedules and countless agendas to complete. When the largeness
of living seems to pull me along by an all-consuming tide, I find myself
drowning and there seems to be no way out.
The Lord says “enough” and my course is altered. The tide is stilled, and I am crushed by
the weight of malady. A legacy of faith
marked by pain. Why all this pain? In my Job days, I find myself enveloped in
darkness, confined by the 4 corners of my bed.
Disease ravaging my body, and my mind frenzied with fear. My spirit is
begging, pleading for healing—prayers that seem lost in the dead echoes of
silence. The enemy of soul seemingly
has the upper hand. Once again, he
underestimates the power of the Great I Am.
The God of heaven has a bigger plan incomprehensible. I am undone. I am reduced in my body, my life, and my spirit. I identify with
Job as he laments, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I
return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has
taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” Job 1:21
I am brought down low, condensed to nothingness, and in
losing myself I unearth the unexpected.
It creeps in my life gradually by small adjustments to my spirit,
something I can’t identify at first. My
life is transformed for the making and choosing of the divine. My eyes are opened, unveiling new
truth. With one excruciating step at a
time I discover the conduit to supernatural trust while enduring uncertainty
and disease. Then, one day I come to
find the bitterness and apathy have faded in the wake of my forgiveness and His
sovereignty. My fears and anxieties are
dispersed by “grace that is sufficient and power made perfect in my
weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9). My
life is smaller, and I am overwhelmed with awe for the vastness of my God. As it comes to be, I realize that I am
reduced for Gratitude.
“Thanksgiving that Proceeds the Miracle”
Gratitude is an anecdote for the soul, a gift from above, a
concept the world does not comprehend.
Gratitude—smothered by the pull of selfishness, ambition, greed, envy,
and lust for worldly ambitions.
Gratitude—seemingly lost in suffering—broken marriages, crushed dreams,
bodies ravaged by cancer and disease, hopeless spirits, financial woes, lives
destroyed by the weight of grief. So, how did I stumble upon this
Gratitude? Ann Voskamp describes the
word, “Eucharisteo”, in her book 1000 Gifts. Thanksgiving is a consecrated gift of grace and joy in the
moment. Ann writes, “Thanksgiving
always proceeds the miracle.” I am
breathless at these words.
“Thanksgiving always proceeds the miracle.” How did I not see it? All
the loveliness around me. The small things that count. Beauty for the sunshine and a breath of
breeze. Delight for grasping small hands and feet. Beauty for simple everyday things. Miniature butterflies sunning themselves on glossy stems. Belly
laughs and lemonade stands. Goldfinches
nibbling on profuse sunflower blooms.
The cool crisp taste of cucumber on my tongue. Sunset reflections on
windowpanes in a glorious blaze. The
sweet tinkle of piano melodies on rainy days.
So many things for beauty and blessing to count. All these things are acts of worship
because they offer glory to their Creator.
I uncover Gratitude for my smallest joys and for His abundance.
Reduced for Gratitude
The tribulations of life change the perception lens and
level the playing field for the work of redemption. When circumstances make no sense to me and my Father is pruning
my life for His purpose, I can be tempted to scoff at the injustice of it
all. God is patient with my contentious
attitude as He lovingly unfolds His message for me. When I think to myself all I have is these stinking loaves and
fishes and it doesn't add up, the God of glory transforms them into an
abundance of blessings and I am left with unspeakable Gratitude. Upon reflecting my journey, I can
distinguish God’s purpose in my life, a legacy of faith marked by pain. Why so much pain? God uses our pain for transformation, purification, and His
eternal purposes. All this pain and
beauty, and I am left with just Gratitude.
Gratitude is the gift in its truest form. “Thanksgiving that proceeds the miracle.”
The gift of grace. An abundance of
blessings to count for glory. Joy for
the moment. The transforming power of “peace
that surpasses all understanding” (Philippians 4:7). My life is condensed and my vision modified
for the gift and the blessing. Tomorrow
is uncertain but I have a choice to make of how I will live, with bitterness or
Gratitude.
“Therefore, since we have been justified through faith,
we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have
gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of
God. Not only so, but we also rejoice
in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance;
perseverance, character; and character, hope.
And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love
into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.” Romans 5:1-5
To Learn More about Ann Voskamp and her ministry visit her website:
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