Come, all you who are thirsty… Isaiah 55:1
About a month ago, I decided to do a weekly study with my
13-year-old daughter written by Women of Faith speakers about managing
emotions. I wanted some quality time
with my girl. With her recently
embarking those tedious teenage years, this study seemed appropriate for both
of us. Last week’s chapter was called, “The Doldrums” and addressed spiritual
dryness, periods of time when we wander in the dessert. My daughter was unfamiliar with this subject
and asked me to explain to her what it means.
After describing my take on spiritual dryness, I gave her
some examples in my life. Sometimes spiritual dryness takes over when I allow
my apathy and the things of this world come between me and my relationship with
God. Other times, God is building my
character and teaching me more about him.
That is called sanctification. My
daughter said, “It is like when you are teaching a baby to walk. Sometimes you stand by him and hold his hand,
and other times you let go to encourage the baby to take a few steps on his
own. He may stumble and fall, but you
are nearby to help him back up.”
God has definitely communicated and worked with me in
different ways through my life journey.
During some of the most difficult and heart-breaking times in my life,
he lavished me with his love and power. Other times he seemed to be stepping
back and allowing me to stumble through growing pains.
FLOODGATES OF GRACE
In 2003, my parents were visiting from out-of-state, and
they were very joyful that I was expecting my 2nd child. My sister-in-law, Angie, offered to do an ultrasound for my parents. I thought it would be fun to share the
experience with them, so we made arrangements.
I was very excited to share this special moment with our daughter as
well. She was 4 at the time. At the appointment, we were upbeat and
laughing, however the mood turned sour as Angie told me she could not find a
heartbeat. My joy turned to panic, and
my parents quickly escorted our daughter out of the room. After doing another test, she confirmed that
the baby did not show signs of life.
Words cannot describe the shock and grief I felt in that
moment. Angie left to give my husband,
Mel, and I some time to talk things over and grieve together. I’ll never forget Mel getting down on his
knees and telling me it wasn’t my fault and that no matter what he would always
love me. Then, he prayed over me. I silently cried out to God and prayed, “God,
I can’t handle this. You have to help me
through this. I am all yours. You can do whatever you want with me.”
The next morning, I woke up weeping and petitioning God for
guidance. A gentle voice in my mind told
me to look up the verse, Romans 5:1-5. I
confess that I had been reading the Bible at this point in my life, however I
was unfamiliar with parts of the Bible, especially the epistles. When I opened up my Bible to Romans and read
what God had to say, I was overwhelmed with his presence and peace. There is no other explanation but this had to
be from God to lay such a verse on my heart at that moment. “Therefore, since we have been justified
through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ through
whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of
God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in
our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance;
perseverance character; and character hope.
And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love
into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.” Romans 5:1-5.
All I can say is that God made true to his promise in this
verse. I was overcome with God’s love
and grace through his Spirit, family members, co-workers, and people from our
church. I felt a kinship with God in my
heartbreak that was supernaturally peaceful and comforting. I had a couple excruciating weeks of carrying
the unborn baby, however God was with me every step of the way. He was with me in the emergency room when
they had trouble getting the bleeding to stop.
He was with me the overnight stay in the hospital. He was with me the days following when our
family said goodbye to the life we would never know this side of heaven. Despite my sorrow, I couldn’t get enough of
God and his deep love for me. It was
like water for my thirsty soul! Out of
that grief, God built a spiritual gift of intercessory prayer for others.
THROUGH THE DRY VALLEY
Since then, I have been led through times of spiritual
famine and renewal, however the period of time between 2006 and 2012 seemed
like the most lengthy dry spell. Looking
back, I realize God was sanctifying me through health problems and painful
circumstances, and my stubborn nature was fighting him. I was struggling with my desire to do things
my way. Then, I had what I call my Job
experience in 2010, which lasted almost 2 years.
After forgiving others, confessing sins, and telling God
multiple times that I was ready to give him control over my life, God seemed
silent to my prayers. I begged him. I pleaded with him. I fought to do what I thought he wanted. I commanded the devil to leave me alone, yet
God was still silent. I sensed he was there all along. He somehow pulled me through each moment of
pain and suffering. He was always there
in the nick of time, yet he was silent to my begging for healing and
guidance. Finally, I gave up fighting
and told him I was OK with suffering through the pain of my illness if that was
what he wanted. I told him I was ready
to listen to what he was trying to teach me.
That was the turning point in my relationship with God.
BESIDE STILL WATERS
Eventually, he started giving me more of himself in small
ways during my daily Bible studies. When, I went outside last summer to putter
in the garden, lay in the warm grass, and watch the birds, he was always there
quietly joining me. His peace touched me
like rays of sun in gentle breezes and quiet thoughts. Those quiet times with God gave me both
pleasure and peace. His voice steadily
grew stronger as he began to reveal to me areas of my life he wanted to build
on. While in 2003, God poured his love and
grace on me, this time he initiated a long painful process of unveiling a new
dimension of his presence.
The other day, I came across a passage written by Henry
Blackaby that spoke directly to the heart of this situation. It described Blackaby’s interpretation of
what Jesus might have been saying to Mary regarding her bother, Lazarus’s,
death. Mary was very distraught that
Jesus waited until after Lazarus had died to come when he could have healed him
beforehand. In that moment, Mary had no
idea that Jesus could conquer death: (Jesus
speaks to Mary)“If I had come, your brother would not have died. You know that I could have healed him because
you have seen Me heal many, many times.
If I had come when you asked Me to, I would have healed him. But, you would have never known any more
about Me than you already know. I knew
that you were ready for a greater revelation of Me than you have ever known in
your life. I wanted you to come to know
that I am the resurrection and the life.
My refusal and My silence was not rejection. It was an opportunity for Me to disclose to you
more of Me than you have ever known.” Henry
Blackaby, Experiencing God.
COME ALL WHO ARE THIRSTY
When I start to feel
down about my struggling health and everyday gripes, I am reminded of the times
I have encountered God through the years and how he has been faithful in loving
me in each unique way he has revealed himself to me. I especially look back to my Job days and
remember how he saw me through the dry valley and brought me to springs of hope
that quenched my spiritual thirst.
If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has
said, streams of living water will flow within him. John 7:37-38
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