Engaging Grace

 

Amazing grace,

How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I’m found
Was blind, but now I see*

ENCOUNTERING ANGELS

When I was a girl, I loved angels.  At the age of twelve, my parents gave me a framed picture of a guardian angel watching over 2 small children.  I would often lie in bed at night and look at it, imagining that I had my own personal guardian angel.  I was fascinated with the idea that unseen angelic beings surrounded me. Angels were a symbol of comfort and security to me. 

Angels are often portrayed as cute little cupid-like figures that warm our hearts or whimsical characters that conjure pleasant thoughts and sweet dreams.  The Bible is filled with stories of people who had real encounters with angelic hosts, however they weren’t described as cute or whimsical.  The Bible describes awe-inspiring experiences with celestial beings God sent with specific messages and purposes to accomplish His work. Though some people were visited by messengers of the Lord, others had various encounters with God himself.   On several occasions prophets and disciples described life-changing experiences with the Lord—He was so beautiful and terrifying that they fell prostrate as if dead.
 

“Like the appearance of a rainbow in the clouds on a rainy day, so was the radiance around Him.  This was the appearance of the likeness of the glory of the Lord.  When I saw it, I fell face down, and I heard the voice of one speaking.”  Ezekiel 1:28

“His head and hair were white like wool, as white as snow, and his eyes were like blazing fire.  His feet were like bronze glowing in a furnace, and his voice was like the sound of rushing waters.  When I saw Him, I fell at His feet as though dead.”  Revelation 1:14-15, 17

THE PRODIGAL DAUGHTER

 As a young lady, I decided to turn my back on God to seek and desire for the things of the world.  These empty things brought temporary delight and pleasure, however left a void in my life.  In the late 1990’s, I graduated college believing I had the world at my feet.  I had a false sense of fulfillment.  A week after graduation, I left everything I knew behind to move to Northern Wisconsin.  At first, I was enthralled with the change of scenery and the newness of my surroundings.  I had an exciting summer interning at a treatment facility and hanging out with my new friends.  My weekends were filled with fun adventures at the lake and visits to the Twin Cities, however when the newness wore off, I was left feeling empty and alone. 

At the end of the summer, I rented a tiny house in town.  I started a position working the night shift at a local nursing home. My goal was to obtain my social work license and find a full-time job in my field of study.  I had an insane work schedule, putting in 12-hour shifts.  I worked 7 days straight and then had a week off of work.  The workweeks flew by, and I had barely time to worry about my loneliness or being far away from my family.  Then, the long and lonely days and nights would drag on.  My past was catching up with me.
 

 

 

AN ANGEL ON MY WALL

  Those days, I spent quite a bit of time journaling and writing poetry as a way to express my feelings.  Writing was my lifeline and an outlet for my wavering emotions.  I had a hunger for something spiritual in my life, however could not place what I was looking for.  One fall day, I had an idea.  I decided to sketch a mural on the bedroom wall of my tiny rental house.  I talked to my landlord, and she gave me permission to do it.  After making some initial sketches on the wall, I stayed up all night to draw an angel mural using charcoal and pastels.  That night, I felt a passion and inspiration that seemed to dissipate my loneliness and release some of the hurt I had left behind in my past. I felt at peace in the moment, yet it didn’t have the power to set me free.

 Looking back at a photograph I had taken of my angel mural, I see the irony in how it symbolized my spiritual life—a distorted imitation of the real thing.  Somehow, I lost sight of the truth.  The truth was not in a town, a place, a profession, or a mural on my wall.  It wasn’t until later, that I returned to the saving grace of my Lord and was able to be set free.

GOD SPEAKS

 Eventually, I moved closer to the twin cities and started attending church again. I began to realize how much I needed the Lord back in my life. I returned to Him with a crushed spirit and a humble heart.  It was the year of the millennium, and I was a young mother trying to do the right thing for my precious and amazing baby girl.  Her father, Mel, and I had been attending Faith Community Church for a few months and were earnest to make our lives righteous for God.  My renewed relationship with God was new and foreign to me. 

 I found myself in the freedom grasp of engaging grace on April 22, 2000, at a Saturday night Easter church service. While standing to participate in worship, I discovered grace in a Sunday school song that I had sung many times as a child: “Father, I adore you.  Lay my life before you.  How I love you.  Jesus, I adore you.  Lay my life before you.  How I love you. Spirit, I adore you.  Lay my life before you.  How I love you.”  These simple words brought back memories and touched my heart deeply.  As the tears began to form in my eyes, I felt a heaviness lift from my heart.  Then, God spoke to me out of my brokenness.

As we continued our worship, a strong gentle voice spoke in my mind, “Darcee.  It’s time to follow me.  I want you to do my ministry.”

I was a little confused and thought at first that he was calling me to go to seminary and become a minister.  I wondered to myself what was going on, and how on earth would I be able to follow His wishes.   In that moment, something amazing happened.  I felt what I can only describe as a powerful anointing of peace fill all of me.  Something dark and empty inside my spirit opened up and my heart was filled with grace and peace. 

ON HOLY GROUND

Later that night, we went for a drive to a small park.  As we drove through the peaceful woodsy park looking for deer and taking in the sweetness of the night, the Lord spoke again, “Darcee.  It’s time to follow me.  I want you to do my ministry.” 

I mentally responded to him, “But I’m scared.  What if my friends and family think I’m crazy? What am I supposed to do?” 

 But God said, “Follow me, and I will show you the way.” 

 I said to Him, “But what do you want me to do?  How am I supposed to do this?  I am too weak.”

God said, “Read my Bible, and I will show you the way.” 

There was no other explanation or instructions, just “follow me” and “read my Bible.”  Throughout that evening, I continued to experience a supernatural calmness in my spirit.     It was as though I had a taste of what Moses must have felt when God told him, “Take off your sandals.  You are standing on holy ground.”(Exodus 3:5)  That moment changed my life forever.  I wasn’t sure what to expect, however through the days, months, and years that followed God was faithful in leading me.  He has lovingly guided me through my triumphs and failures.  It took me years to grasp what those words meant.  I am only beginning to understand God’s will and purpose in my life. 
 

 

REDEEMING LOVE

Later on, I shared my encounter with Mel.  Amazingly, Mel had his own story to share.  He had his own experience with the Lord that same night.  As we were worshiping, Mel looked up and saw an image of Jesus coming up behind the worship team at church.  Jesus himself walked out and stood there for a minute.  Then, he was gone.  At that moment, God revealed himself and his divine call in Mel’s life as well.  It may sound crazy, but it is true! I am here to say that God is real, God loves us, and God wants to reveal himself to his people!  Angels are awesome.  I always thought it would be cool to come face to face with an angel, but I can testify that nothing can compare to a personal encounter with Jesus Christ himself!  He is the one who took our sorrows and our broken spirits and nailed it to the cross so that we can be set free.  It doesn’t matter what you have done or how you have sinned in your life. Jesus came to heal the lost and the brokenhearted.  He was considered a man who loved the worst of sinners.  He lavishes us with a redeeming love that is more real and liberating than any substitute.  I am filled with deep gratitude for the one who redeemed me with his love and bore my sins on the cross.

 

“But God demonstrates His own love for us in this:  While we were sinners, Christ died for us.”  Romans 5:8

My chains are gone

I’ve been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy rains
Unending love, Amazing grace*

*Lyrics to the song Amazing Grace (My Chains are Gone)  by Chris Tomlin